There’s a difference between being available and being taken for granted.
I know it.
Most women know it.
But we stay available anyway;
for peace,
for duty,
for fear.
For years, I thought I had to sleep with my husband because that’s what wives do.
Keep the marriage alive.
Keep him from looking elsewhere.
Keep the peace.
I thought sex was wife-duty and mandatory.
Service.
Obligation.
And so I stopped wanting it.
Not because I didn’t love him, but because I didn’t love me obligated and demanded.
Until I changed everything.
I stopped being available.
I stopped saying yes because I was afraid to say no.
I stopped performing.
And here’s the thing nobody tells you:
When a woman stops being available out of duty;
and starts being available out of direction;
her body wakes up.
Not overnight.
But slowly.
Steadily.
In her time.
I don’t fuck because I should.
I fuck because I want to.
I don’t take him into my mouth because I have to.
I do it because I choose him.
I want to feel him grow hard because of me.
I want to feel him lose himself because of me.
I want his release because I directed and placed it.
Because I’m a sovereign woman.
This is not performance.
This is power.
The power of choice.
The power of placement.
The power of receiving, not as a chore, but as a claiming.
When I receive him now, I’m not servicing him.
I’m taking him.
I’m taking what belongs to me.
Because I can.
Because I want to.
Because I say so.
This is how I want to live.
And once a woman feels that?
There’s no going back.